got my dream love-at-first-sight phone today.and you're the first to call me.oh.and we're seeing each other (finally) on tuesday.
mmm.life's good :)

B, yes i did thought about what you said. i'll promise you to give this complicated thing more thought and i wont regret a single thing, neither will i do things to make myself regret. you can dont be so jing-zhang huh!
thanks for listening to me rant over msn yst :)

"havent seen you in a bit"

yeah.haven't seen you in a long time, that is if one week is even considered long.
when i see you, i'm gonna tell you that i miss you.
because i really do.

"Love is the longing for the half of ourselves we have lost."
can't agree more with Plato's theory even though he's a very ancient guy but he must be a genius to come out with these.mmm

this is escalating to something a little more than a lovegame huh
and while i have full faith in you, i dont have much confidence in myself
will you still want me, me and my insecurities and my childishness and my flaws and my imperfections?


did you, like me, stared at the phone and dont-know-what-to-do for a while?
simple words, but they messed up my heart and brain.
i really hope you meant what you said, because i did.

"oh don't be a fool, don't be blind, heart of mine."

you always know how to make me smile, and so easily, you messed up my life (literally!)
and from the moment i agreed to trust you, i'm alr giving you everything
but when the insanity, crazyness and dizzyness of love wear out, what will we be left with?

still thinking if i should give you my wednesday night.
but if i do then i might miss you.

crossed the border with you and a bunch of your rider friends today
adventure day but its very tiring!
covered more than 500km today which is insane! i dont even think its comparable the distance covered when my dad drives us for gateaway in indo
i do hope they cant find me on fb and tag those pictures cos its uh quite scandalous

got to rethink about you.about us
i feel that while i really do like you and enjoy your company alot, its not a good enough reason to convince me and my heart.and often i ask myself if i can live without you, and sadly, the answer is yes. maybe this is not deep enough to be classified as love. we still need more time huh? or maybe i'm not the relationship kind of person? 'cos falling in love is easy, but maintaining relationships are not. and i dont want to love and lose you again like i did with m

dont even want to think about work tml which starts at 8!
on a lighter note:
tue- happy meal at happy place (no idea what is going on too but that's the plan!)
thur- outing with fangs and lims
fri- movie plus yet-to-be-planned with dee
sat- talk to myself, read book, drink coffee, listen to chilaxjazz, play piano, daydream and sleep more.

b i want to talk to you! :(

a very much reblogged quote by unknown(?) but i thought everything is true about it, especially the last line.mmm

“If you are going to fall in love with me, it’s only fair that you know what you are falling in love with.

You are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. You are falling love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my overactive tear ducts, my internet obsession, my tendency to be too clingy. You fall in love with my troubled past, and my hopes and dreams, and how I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my self-hate and all my imperfections and my perception that nobody could ever love me.

But, you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when I’m with you, the way I’ll text you in the mornings just telling you I hope you have a great day. You’re falling in love with the occasionally humorous and/or thought-provoking things I say, and the way I blush when people ask me about you. But to me, the most important thing will be that you are falling in love with me, despite my thinking that it is impossible.”


tomorrow will be adventure day! :)

"Two people in love, alone, isolated from the world, that's very beautiful. But what would they nourish their intimate talk with? However contemptible the world may be, they still need it to be able to talk together."
"They could be silent."
"Like those two, at the next table?" JeanMarc laughed. "Oh, no, no love can survive muteness."
-Identity, Milan Kundera

and yes i've managed to clear my sunday for you!
:)

" Glad you're hm safe!
Rest well Leonie!
Goodnight! =)"

mmm.this so totally make my day i mean night!
:)

you have no idea how much i wanted to go with you even though its to the most ridiculous place (JB waterfall?!) on a sunday.
but work's really depriving me of time and energy so i guess i'll have to cont' having withdrawal symptoms (4days and counting) and finally planning somethng concrete with you
but its really kinda sweet of you to call me after work and all :)
i'll repeat myself again but i'll really kill to see you now.

am finally setting aside some time to catch up with friends and myself
its been a while since i go to secret place alone (the last time was with you at midnight!) to stone, walk walk, listen to music, look look and blow wind.mmm

angbao money plus payday (end of the month) is really making me feel like splurging!

are you that slightly jealous?
:)
its these little moments that make everything worthwhile

p.s. the meaning of the name leonie is lion/lioness.ha!how helpful

who says the love game is gonna be easy?
sometimes i feel like just taking the easy way out, being loved instead of loving.
its like to be with you i've got to keep breaking rules and boundaries.i'm honestly okay with those, but they are draining me.and at the end of the day, will i win over your heart (and soul)?
just how much am i willing to sacrifice for you?and you, for me?
need more answers and less questions.

barrage was okay-ish only cos thr were lots of people (who fly kites at 2am?! insane!) so it wasnt quiet and private-ish
and i was really tired after work and everything so it kinda killed the mood :(
if you stay somewhere near i'll so totally find you every single day :(

on a lighter note, finally found someone who realises the bass line and harmonises them! i always thought it was a crazy habit of mine to filter out basses but now i know someone else does that too and thats you :)
and i'm the first one to call you __ :) [told you i'll ask!]
yes boy april is really far from now (if we manage to even last that long), but its something to look forward to, the curfew-less few days!

幸福没有那么容易
才会特别让人着迷

finally tonight i'll be seeing you again
like you said, its gonna be awesome
and i cant wait :)
how can i get enough of you?

"Don't hold it against me," said the trumpeter. "It was on purpose that you didn't hear from me. I didn't want to be in touch with you. I was afraid of what was happening inside me. I was resisting love. I wished to write you a long letter, I actually filled pages and pages, but I finally threw them all away. I was never so in love before, and it scared me. And why not admit it? I also wanted to make sure that my feelings were something other than a passing enchantment. I told myself: If I go on being like this for another month, what I'm feeling for her isn't an illusion, it's a reality"
Farewell waltz- Milan Kundera
(please read even though its a chunk of text only.it explains ALOT!)

that's how it feels now
i know people are curious (I am also) but please dont ask nowww :(
it will totally drive me insane cos i'm still thinking
i got a lot of insecurities issue to deal with so dont bother asking
i'll probably start telling people once everything is okayyy
its quite pressuring and yes i know people are curious to know who can make me forget m but give me some breathing spaceeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

thr are freaking so few decent guys left!
really dont like dont like dont like this cos they're freaking me out
arghhh

your text does make me day a little, even if you're two steps too slow huh
and i miss your live again.kill meeeeeeeeee! :(


p.s. B, pretty face is not the answer to everything can?!?!?! i think i asked you quite a lot of different questions alr and everytime your answer is pretty face -.- eh not counted!!!!pls think of other more creative answer thankyouverymuch.

i think i'm the only one whose feeling the wthdrawal symptoms after 5 days :(
5 days onlyyyy!!look at what you've done :((
if you tell me i'll only get to see you after cny, i'll probably fall into depressionnnnn.

okayyy bye off to work at freaking early hours today and ahem 'happening' shift tml plus fri

noooooooo

[edited]
thanks b for the (slight)enlightenment today
oh.and the test thing was not fun/funny at all!!make me miss a good half hour chat with you-know-who
but still, thank you for hearing me rant to you and making me (re)-think about what i want and everything

i kinda thought about it and my conclusion(s) is/are:
1. its not commitment phobia.definitely
2. i'll (in any case) fight for what i want, and he will be one of them. i dont want to have things so easily because i wont know how to treasure so yeah, we'll see how this goes.
3. its not that i'm afraid of loving or committing, lets just say i'm (very) afraid of losing.
4. i think you're kinda right about the finding someone familiar and all that psychology stuff.at lest their characteristics in general is kinda similar, but the way they love me is very different

this sounds naggy and pretty much like an essay, but its really nice to talk to you again.thanks a million :D

p.s. (cont' from above) 5. eh.you know the pretty thing, i think both of you are biased so it'll probably not count.no?

"do i deserve to be the one?"

love is stealing a kiss or two when the traffic light turns red :)

"if its real we'll make it through
cos all i need is you."

all i need is you?
at times, i really want to be your only one.
but that will be a really selfish thought

fatigue plus one week of withdrawal symptoms is a lethal combi.

totally unhappy because i missed your live (again!) and its so freaking hard to find free time to go out with you since work starts.its one week alr nooooo!

have to keep psychoing myself that my life dont revolve arnd you only. wonder how i manage to get by those indo-hk trips :(

i'm so going to splurge on anything and everything on payday

likes it when you try to ask me out every single day, because by now the withdrawal symptoms are pretty much unbearable already, even though it've been barely a week.

the effort and the thought count.because we both know we have our own worlds, crazy schedules, curfew and strict parents(mine!) to deal with.

sweet!